Better Version of Myself

Well, it's been a long time since I've blogged. But, since I am trying to become a better version of myself, I thought why not write it all down, have accountability. So, that's what I'm doing!
It's no secret that I have gained a couple of pounds...ok so maybe ALOT of lbs since getting married, and it's also no secret that I have literally tried I think every "fad" diet, pills..everything to get back to me..the old me.
I have decided to take time to work on me. I have taken care of everyone else around me, but ME. And, it sadly shows. I am TIRED of being jealous of every girl around me. TIRED of wishing and hoping..it's time to DO. TIRED of making up excuses..they are running out! I'm just TIRED of being TIRED. I want to be HAPPY..I want to go out and ENJOY life, not hide from it anymore. I want my children to see the REAL ME. I want to be a "BETTER VERSION OF MYSELF."

So, how am I going to do it?!?!
1. Journal food intake
2. Journal when I'm feeling down/stressed/happy...that's when I tend to eat, eat, eat.
3. P90X
4. Running on the treadmill
5. Eating right/healthy
6. Lots of prayer!!!!!

I'm tired of failing/quitting. So, I have to do this, not only for me, but for my family.

DIVA aka...Chloe is FIVE!!!!

I can't believe our baby girl is FIVE!! I know she has a birthday every year, and every year I say, "Where did the time go?" And, it's so true, where in the world did the time go?! With her being my last baby, it's really hard seeing her grow up, I just want them all to stay small, stay so innocent, stay my lil angels. God has given us 3 amazing children, and I am so thankful for each one of them. I am vowing this year to be more involved with the kiddos, striving to be a better mom, and be the mom that will always be there for them.

So, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY ANGEL.

I will ALWAYS "love you to the moon and back."

Bookbags, homework and early mornings!

Well, the first week of school is officially in the books. Can't believe we were in countdown mode to school starting, and the first week is already over! Early mornings are in full force..6am comes quite early!! But, the boys are doing a great job of getting up and to the bus stop on time! The boys are excited...probably because they haven't had any homework yet...but come Monday, it's coming! It's hard to believe I have a 4th and 2nd grader! Where has the time gone?! They are growing up so quickly, I just want time to stand still for a bit.

Chloe and I had a "date day" on Monday, while the boys were in their first day of school, we went down to Atlanta to her "favorite" restaurant, the Cheesecake Factory! Then we went to Lenox Mall where we did some fun school shopping for her! It was a great day together, enjoyed spending the day with my diva! Little did I know that the next day would be a very stressful, emotional day! I was told that my PreK position was no longer, they offered me another job in the school, but frankly that's not why I went to school and I deserved to be treated better. So, I had to make a decision, do I put Chloe into GA prek or keep at home. Knowing that I would be quitting the next day, I had to make a decision quickly.

GA prek in Georgia fills up in the Spring. So, I just knew that there was no way I could get her into a school, she'd probably have to be on a waiting list. Well, I called around, went to a couple of places and put her on waiting lists. At this point, I was emotional, stressed and just not a good day. I came home frustrated. I called this one last place, close to our home, prepared for them to not have an opening. She told me come in, and fill out paperwork and if we can get you in, we'll let you know!

I got the boys off the bus, drove to this school. I walked in and the director told me, 20 minutes ago a little boy got accepted to the private school ..(he was on the waiting list at the private school) and they had an opening! YAY!!!! Thank you Jesus!!!! I quickly filled out the paperwork, met her teachers, saw the classroom...and then reality hit. All my children have been with me during their preschool years. I've always known what was going on with them throughout the day. I started tearing up realizing my baby girl..last child would no longer be with me. It was hard. But, I knew this is where she was suppose to be. Everything was just falling into place for it not to be.

She started her first day the next day! She LOVED it!!! It was a sad day, but I know she has "to grow up sometime" and leave me.

So, now comes my new adventure. What am I suppose to do? Where am I suppose be? Do I work full-time/part-time? It's all very stressful for me as well as for Kyle. Just putting my trust in God to show us where and what I am suppose to do!

Thank you for your prayers for us..and all the calls, emails, texts. It has meant alot to me!

MUCH LOVE.

Keg's, Keggers, Keganator...AKA..Keagen is NINE

Don't know how to get the picture to the right off..but I guess you can enjoy a pic of Kade and Kyle..haha!

Can't believe my baby boy is NINE!! Where did the past 9 years go?! And, yes I cried the morning of his birthday, he is growing up way too fast!!! I remember very vividly the day I found out I was pregnant with him. We had just been married for a little over a month and a half, wasn't feeling too hot, took 5 pregnancy tests all negative. Was on birth control, but I guess it helps if I followed the directions and took it like I was suppose to Ha!

I went to the doc for a regular checkup on said in passing, oh, I'm late. Every girl knows those 3 little words could change your life forever! I was sitting in the room all by myself, praying, please be negative, please be negative..not that I never wanted to have kids, but come on..we were NEW newlyweds..the nurse came in and said matter-of-factly..it's positive. Those 2 words echoed in my mind and I couldn't even think or say anything. She asked me..are you ok? Yes, I replied..are you happy?! Uh, yes?! Are you married? snap back to reality! YES, I'M MARRIED LESS THAN 2 MONTHS LADY!! lol..I was a bundle of nerves, excited, scared, excited, anxious, excited..you get the point. I immediately went to Target..picked out a pair of girl and boy little booties. Drove to Kyle's work. Could barely walk up the stairs to his office, I was so nervous and excited! Put the shoes behind my back, walked up to him and pulled both shoes out from behind my back..all the color in his face left, he started shaking..TWINS?!!!! Ha..NO, I got these because we are preggers and I don't know what it is. We hugged and we were both shaking. Then came the time to tell people. How do I tell people that we're pregnant and I haven't even signed all the thank you notes yet from our wedding!

We told EVERYONE, and some people you could see it in their face..they were counting in their heads the months. I just wanted to laugh..it was a rough pregnancy from the start, very sick, we lived in a house that had no air or heat. The way we stayed warm at night was to use my blowdryer and put it under our comforter for a few minutes, then quickly put the comforter around us to keep warm! Great memories! ha!

I was so excited, happy that we were having a boy first! And, we had already had his named picked out..that's what you do when you're in college right?! haha..Keagen Gene. Fast forward to due date..I went in to be induced, got there and was already at 4cm..didn't know I was in labor, I thought this is awesome! I was SO nervous about having a baby, I mean, come on..I can't even handle getting a shot or my finger pricked, how was I going to have a baby! I was in labor maybe 8 hours, pushed for 2 hours, not fun. They had told me that week that I'd have a 7lb baby boy..uh try 9 lbs!!! He came out looking like a 3 month old, perfect skin, just perfect all around! Keagen has been an amazing boy, he is super smart (like his daddy) he is handsome (like his daddy) and funny (like me;0)). I couldn't have asked for a better more perfect first born. He loves his brother and sister, he looks out for them and will defend them!

A few lil things about him...we can't shave his head, he has eyebrows, but they are VERY blonde and noone can see them, so he looks like he has cancer. We did that one time and one time only, we got so many sympathetic looks and plus he hated it. He has a HUGE birthmark on his stomach, which I thought was dirt when he was a baby, but we call it his moo cow spots. He has so many freckles, I tell him you have a lot of angels that like kissing you..that's what I was always told..freckles are angel kisses! The boy doesn't have to study, and makes straight A's,he asks a million questions every day..literally..lol VERY athletic, he excells at everything he does and I hope and pray that he continues down that path.

He asked Jesus into his heart when he was 5 and he'll tell you exactly what and where he was when he got saved..I love it!

Thank you Keagen for these past 9 years, I am SO blessed and happy that God gave you to us! Keep doing what is right, and always know that mommy and daddy love you more than words!

Kade is 7

Can't believe my precious lil boy is SEVEN!! It seems just like yesterday he was born, and having a rough beginning. We are so thankful that God "fixed" his little heart and he is a perfectly healthy lil boy! I remember being pregnant with him and thinking, I can't have 2 boys, especially 2 so close in age, but they are the bestest of friends, and I couldn't imagine now, not having 2 boys, or having 2 boys so close in age;o) It was a rough pregnancy, but it made me a stronger person, bc I went through a lot was in the hospital alot, have never been pricked and poked so many times in my life. But, what we will do for our children is amazing! He was my little baby boy, and there was nothing I wouldn't do for him, even if it meant me going through all the nasty and painful stuff I went through..it brought Kyle and I closer and made me realize that life is a GIFT. Many people don't know all that went on, or what Kade had to go through, but we know that GOD spared him and we are most thankful for that!

He is our "cuddle bug", our most stubborn, littlest, funniest boy! He brings so much joy to our home and to wherever he is! He can charm anyone, with just one hug or that beautiful smile! But, he is also tough as nails! He is in wrestling and the coaches are very pleased with how well he is doing, I think it has to do with his height, we all know he is "height challenged"..lol, but it helps in wrestling, bc he can get in there fast! :o) He loves it and that's all that matters!

He does great in school!! He'll tell you he "hates" school, but secretly we think he loves it, he does amazing well, I was really nervous about him going to school, but he's proved me wrong!

So as we celebrate him turning 7, I am SO THANKFUL for God giving us the privilege to be his parents! Our prayer is that he continues to grow and thrive and no matter the obstacles that he must go through in life, he knows that he has a family that loves him more than words can say! So, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY SWEET, PRECIOUS BABY BOY!

Garage VS. Heather

Well, let me just say that if I had a "do it over" button, I would so be hitting, slapping, punching that button, to have a "do it over week". This week has not been the best of weeks, I have had a few slightly better :) With the drama from the previous post, let me apologize again, for ranting and raving...just had to get it out, but thank you to those who did read it and either call or sent text msg's or even emailed me..that was VERY sweet!
Yesterday was going splendidly, work went amazingly well, no problems, kids were really good, my assistant and I got a long beautifully...so what could go wrong, right?!
Well, I was on my way to the gym, so I could get that rock-hard body I've always wanted, I was going to do an hour of cardio do an hour long class, I was just going to rock it last night!! I had put 2 out of the 3 kids in the car, waiting on Keg's as usual, so I thought I'd just pull out of the garage and wait in the driveway for him. Well, I didn't realize that the driver's side passenger door was open a little and so when I pulled out the door caught the garage and yanked the door further back than it is suppose too, and it bent the metal track which makes the garage go down!
As soon as it happened, I was a total mess, How could I be so stupid, how am I going to close the garage, what did I do to my car, and most importantly HOW WILL I TELL KYLE!!! Everyone knows I'm a clutz and do stupid stuff all the time, but this one was a doozie! I cried and cried and cried, couldn't get ahold of Kyle so therefore making me sick to my stomach. I was like I am in SO MUCH TROUBLE..you know how when you're little and you've done something wrong and you're waiting to see what your mom and dad will say? That was me..I prayed and prayed that I could get the door closed that my car wasn't damaged...we got the garage door closed thanks to my neighbor. But, my car..I can't get out of the drivers door..it bent the track or something, so now I have to go to a bodyshop to have that fixed!
When I saw on my cell that it was Kyle calling, I totally went into panic mode, but he was calm, and even told me accidents happen!!! I was so pleased, happy, relieved that he was so calm, bc if the tables were turned, I'm sure I wouldn't have been...especially after all the stupid stuff I do!
So, LESSON LEARNED: DO NOT PULL OUT OF GARAGE UNLESS ALL DOORS ARE CLOSED!! You'd think that would be a common sense thing, but if you're me, that's not..hahaha!
It has also made me not be so shy and do things for myself...I had to call the garage people, tell them what happened, and they are actually here right now fixing it! :) I had to call a body shop and tell them, and I'll be headed there this afternoon! I'm the girl who not too long ago would get nervous just calling to order a pizza!! LOL.

I am hoping for a better END to the week, we'll keep our fingers crossed! I am praying that this little clutzy moment doesn't cost us an arm and a leg! Just wanted to tell Kyle again, how sorry I am, maybe there is a "special group" that I could find that could help me with my clutzyness and help me find some common sense! Thank you Kyle for still loving me, though I cost you a lot of money and alot of stress!!

So, I hope I have helped in some small way to all you mom's out there who have garages!! So, that you don't make the same mistake as I did! :o)
MUCH LOVE TO YOU ALL!